Wednesday, March 28, 2007

oops

The last 2 days I have been feeling very optimistic and have bought a couple of cute little outfits and hats. I bought a red velour mouse hat....just like the blue one I have a picture of on one of my previous posts....it came in the mail today. It is so exciting to get something I have ordered for Zeb....but it is kind of depressing to fold it up and put it on my tiny little Zeb shelf. I am very excited for everyone I know who is getting referrals and getting travel dates....I am a little bit jealous too. I have this totally irrational worry that I will somehow get forgotten or that the in country coordinator will get worn out by all of the other people travelling and decide to take a vacation or decide to open up a felt store and stop facilitating adoptions....I don't know ....completely irrational things like that! I am starting to feel like I am certifiably bipolar....one minute I am so excited and happy and my mind is going 100mph with happy thoughts....then I have a sinking feeling like I just realized I forgot to pay a bill that was due 2 weeks ago. I have not quite resorted to unexplainable tears....but could that be far behind?! I have been waiting 2 weeks for the medicals and I know my last conversation with my coordinator here contained promises of news by the end of the week...but I am getting worn out. Part of it may be that Trauma has left me a little emotionally weak or frayed around the edges for sure! I am on call tomorrow....and I feel like if I can just make it through the next 48 hours I will be golden!

Just want to reiterate that I really am super excited for all of the people I know that have brand spanking new travel dates! Especially dates that allow birthday celebrations with Yurt shaped cakes! Try not to wear out our coordinator while in country! I am still holding out hope that I may be able to travel at the same time as some of the other great people I have met during this crazy process. I guess the more of my friends that get travel dates before I have even gotten my official referral - the less likely it becomes that I will be able to travel at the same time as them. I really was hoping to travel at the same time as some others!

2 comments:

LaJoy Family said...

I know how hard the wait is Michelle, just hang in there! It is so funny how the minute you get "the call" or "the email" all the waiting seems to be wiped from your mind. But it can sure be agonizing while in the middle of it! Being as busy as you are probably helps some, but it is always there in the back of your mind. I'll bet you have a beautiful, healthy baby boy waiting for you and Zebastian is a cool name! Cindy LaJoy

Shannon said...

Oh Michelle - you have been so positive and uplifting and PATIENT! Cyndi is right, though - when you get that call, you will not remember any of this! I just know your turn is coming VERY VERY soon! Hang in there!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power