Saturday, June 9, 2007

Disturbing and Misinformed

Evidently my input to the yahoo forum is disturbing and misinformed. I was pittied several weeks ago for not knowing that my dossier was going to be rejected for having comparitively old documents "poor girl you are so misinformed". Turns out my agency was not lying to me - the time frame of documents expiring is agency specific not country specific. How am I so sure - because my adoption was finalized with my "old" documents. Now I am disturbing people because my coordinator told me on Thursday that Adoption Alliance is not experiencing a slow down until the fall like was posted on Adoption Options website.
Everybody likes the agency they are working with - they are all good agencies and people pick them for various reasons. I am not trying to diss anyone's agency choice or trying to make anyone feel bad. I am just trying to represent the process as I am experiencing it and I am just trying to keep information in the forum about the process with adoption alliance and what little I know about Nightlight (that uses the same coordinator at the specialized children's home in Bishkek).
Maybe the slow down is related to the new rule that adoption alliance enacted about being in the same state as the adoptive family that Frank did not adopt. Maybe Adoption Alliance just hasn't been informed yet that their adoptions are going to be put on hold. I don't know - I am just trying to contribute and I am tired of my experiences being marginalized and contested. So I am done posting on the yahoo forum for kyrgyzstan adoptions. I will probably keep reading it and will PM people who have questions about adoption alliance or my experiences - but I am too busy to deal with the negativity - Life is too short!


Mala said...

Michelle, please don't leave! Where would I be without your friendly assistance?! If it wasn't for you... yikes, I don't even want to think about it! Don't let a few negative nellies run you off. I may have missed some of these posts but I think the issue may be a combination of new people who have no idea how cool our little group is AND people feeling pretty low over the uncertainties. Should I kick some booty? Booty kickin' or not, please reconsider.

Mom to 2 Angels said...

You can't make everyone happy. There are always people who are overprotectie of the way they are doing things. As you know, international adoption can wear people down and make emotions run can make the sane insane :) I know you have helped a lot of people on the forum.

Shannon said...

AMEN!! This is the reason I have not posted in quite some time. I think because this is such an emotionally charged process, people forget that we are all striving toward the same goal and there really is not right or wrong agency. I don't know why people who are involved with international adoption can't figure out that things change every minute of everyday and you know what...nobody knows what the heck is going on; we all just roll with it. Please know that there are lots of people that value you and your opinions (aka - ME)! Regardless, you're little Zebby is coming home soon and that's all that matters!

Tina said...

Oh bring home a baby and then you miss all the drama.

Don't let it stop you from posting because you're so TOTALLY awesome Michelle. Like...ok?

Julie & John Wright said...


There are people following this yahoo group that are trying to figure out how to maneuver threw this adoption mine field. they need the balance and experience that you bring to the group. I hope you will take a deep breath and continue posting.
Blessings John

Michelle said...

Thank you.....ok...I may have overreacted a little bit. After having a night of more than 4 hours of sleep - I probably will still post on the forum. Besides it is really hard to keep my big mouth shut. Thank you for making me feel like someone cares what I have to say.

LaJoy Family said...

Just now getting back to your blog Michelle as we are busy settling in and I haven't had time. It is always interesting to me how these flare ups occur on every group from time to time, how surprising it is to me that everyone insists they know exactly what is going on with EVERYONE adopting from a counttry...and from my own now 7 year experience I can attest to the fact that things are often very different rfom agency to agency depending upon the connections involved. Why doesn't everyone undersyand that things are done differenly over there?? Oh well, if people don't listen to me when I tell them to check with their own agency to figure out what their own rules will be, then they can learn the hard way. But like you, I hate it when others act like "Know it alls" simply because they are told something by their agency which may not be true for all. The only thing you can count on with international adoption is that you can count on nothing! hahahaha! Cindy

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