Wednesday, February 28, 2007

171H

So I finally got the last piece of paperwork I need to be officially paper-ready. Now I just need a referral. I feel a bit relieved that it came....at the same time...it doesn't really affect anything. I am still just waiting for a little pumpkin to become available!
Today is my last day of being a mostly normal person....tomorrow I start working on the Trauma Surgery service at work. 100 hour work weeks and a blur of sleep deprivation. I have been looking at my call schedule to try to figure out which day I will be the absolutely most exhausted....that will be the day I get my referral! It looks like it will be Friday March 23. I will have been on for 11 days straight with 4 call nights. Yeah...that ought do it! As insane as it sounds, though, I really enjoy trauma - you are very busy and you see some really great pathology. I can't even believe how many people are shot and can just walk right out of the ED a couple of hours later. The only things I have a realy problem with are when kids come in and are seriously hurt. It breaks my heart. However, it is really amazing the kinds of injuries kids can recover from.
Hope to post news of a referral soon!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Laundry

Like any post call single mom - I am a bleary eyed laundry doin' monster! As I was throwing a load in (longing for my fabulous new washer and dryer in Birmingham) I had a mommy flashback. One day after picking my daughter up at school. She screamed..."I've gotta use the potty chair". OK - she was about 3 months into total potty train-dom. I go into the bathroom to help and low and behold she is wearing 2 pairs of panties...only one pair was hers. I still wonder whose panties she had on. Oh well, one of the mysteries of the world. I am just glad they were girl panties. The cup is always half full!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Single Mom

So I am a single mom. I was married for 8 years...but even when I was a kid I used to see myself as a single mom. I never expected to get married, I am not sure why that is. Most of my friends and my family were surprised when I did get married. I should have known not to marry a man who was pissed off that I was not changing my last name. I guess that should have been the very first warning sign that my marriage was not going to be between 2 people that looked at the world though the same lens!
Now I am adopting a new little girl and while it is liberating somewhat to be expanding my family alone - noone to argue about the name with (except a 3 year old!), noone to argue about travel arrangements or hotels with! At the same time I wish there was someone to talk with and discuss and get excited about those things with. Everything was a battle with my exhusband, so I don't miss our marraige - but I do sometimes yearn for ...let face it....the marriage of Mr and Mrs. Hart on Hart to Hart!
Sometimes I also yearn for a babysitter!

Friday, February 23, 2007

I cracked

I was trying so hard to keep from looking at flights and hotels. I wanted to keep something to do for the waiting after I got my referral....but I cracked. Boy is it expensive! Makes me glad I am flying solo as it were! 1700 reasons to hope for a referral less than 23 months - although a second seat might be nice for a 25 hour flight! This is going to be quite a solo adventure for a girl from small town Kansas who has never been out of the country before.

Another Saturday is upon me!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_24

All of the things that happened in history on tomorrow's date. My favorites are the founding of NPR in 1970, AZ became a US territory in 1863, Abe Vigoda was born 1921, and my favorite Battlestar Galactica link - Edward James Olmos was born in 1947. There are not as many compelling reasons for my referral to happen tomorrow vs. last Saturday - but we shall see.
My daughter and I played hooky yesterday and went to the mall to play. We had some McDonalds, baked some chocolate chip cookies and did a lot of coloring. It was a really nice day.
My daughter is starting to ask more peristently about when we are going to fly over the ocean and get her sister. I may have started talking to her about it too soon, but I am really winging this whole thing anyway!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Saturday is coming

Although I am trying not to obsess about waiting on my referral.....it is much easier said that done! When I started this process in November (a mere 4 months ago!) I started posting on the yahoo forum. Now everyone who was posting that month either disappeared from the forum or has a referral! Or maybe they are waiting to start the process. I know there is another family adopting through my agency that is still waiting for their referral - they are ahead of me on "the list" - but I don't really interact with them much. Every time I try calling to talk to her, my daughter causes such a commotion I can't talk on the phone and I don't have her email. It is probably good because if I know the exact day she gets her referral I might have a meltdown - although I am sure it will be on a Saturday!
I know that my referral will come from one specific orphanage and I wonder if there are little girls there that are on their way to becoming available for adoption or if I am waiting for a little girl to arrive at the baby house. The last time I talked to my coordinator she said "It shouldn't be too much longer". Of course, now I am obsessing - did she say that because she knows of a little girl that will soon be my referral or was she just being optimistic and polite. Lucky for her I am not obsessing enough to write her an email for clarification, at least not yet!
4 months doesn't seem that long. I know adoptions from China are taking much much longer than this. Even if it takes 6 months to get a referral - that is still a relatively short time....it just seems like forever. There are plans to be made and shopping to be done!
Lucky for me (depending on how you look at it) I will be on Trauma Surgery for the entire month of March - which means 100- 120 hour work weeks. Trauma is exciting - you see a lot of interesting things but it is physically and emotionally draining - I won't have enough energy to obsess. I will probably get "the call" while I am knee deep or elbow deep in a trauma (literally) and I won't even be able to answer it!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

What to write about?

Now that I am completely and totally just waiting for a referral....there is really not much to write about on the adoption front. It is very hard to just wait. Some other people I know are waiting also and it is hard. I find myself trying to do things to keep my mind occupied and I work like 80 hours a week and have a 3 year old to boot. How occupied does one mind need to be! I already shopped and can't do any more of that or I won't be able to afford to go to Kyrgyzstan. I have already memorized every internet web page on Kyrgyzstan - I am working on my Russian religiously. I have started randomly saying Russian phrases to myself that I don't really remember what they mean. I have real, concrete things on my to do list - but it becomes difficult to get them done....although it has always been difficult to make myself clean the house - that is nothing new! I am not looking at travel info yet because then I won't have anything to obsess with after I get my referral. I think that the waiting is the most difficult part of my adoption. Before I started, I thought that the home study would be the most difficult part - a stranger coming into your life and deciding if you are a good enough person to be a parent. Of course, anyone who has been through a homestudy knows that the homestudy isn't really like that at all! At least if you have the right social worker!

I am going to obsess on my other daughter's life for awhile. I need to send in some paperwork for her admissions file at a school in Birmingham. She had her admissions interview and testing while we were there last week. My little pumpkin tested so early. She is 3.5 yo and tested mostly at a 5 year old level....I am very proud of her. The other applicants for her class are all older and the average test score in each area was about one month higher than she scored. The best part about the day of her testing was when we were leaving. She was very, very well behaved the entire time we were there and then as we were saying goodbye to the admissions director my daughter threw herself on the ground, grabbed the directors feet and screamed "I want some candy". I am totally serious.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Aother Saturday bites the dust!

I set up my referral obsessive days for 9am to 9pm on Saturdays....so another one gone. I am sure I will keep busy tomorrow - I am on call and expect it to be a busy day.
I will taking all of my USMLE Step 3 study books for one of my friends...because I am thankfully all done for at least 3 more years with licensing exams - yeah! It will be very cleansing to rid myself of those!
Tomorrow is also Chinese New Year....year of the pig...predicted to be unlucky. It is going to be my best year yet!

Friday, February 16, 2007

February 17

So I have decided that my referral will come on a Saturday....So now I can obsess only on Saturdays about it. However, today I googled February 17 to see if tomorrow holds any special significance. In my world - if it does hold special significance maybe my referral will come tomorrow. Now I am really letting you into my weird world - this is what waiting for a referral does to a normally sane woman! In case y'all didn't know, Wikipedia actually has a section of dates and things that happened on each day. If you want to take a peak at 2/17 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_17). Some of the highlights - Swan Lake is first performed in full length in St Petersburg, Pope Pius XII declares St Clare of Assisi the patron saint of Television (EWTN was founded by a Mother Angelica a Poor Clare - which is located in Birmingham), and of course it is national random acts of kindness day. I really like the patron saint of television thing though...In 24 hours I will know if tomorrow is my day. Maybe if it is I will incorporate Clare into my new daughter's name....it will probably work better than Swan. Did I mention that Swan Lake has been my cell phone ringer since September?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

A new Kyrgyzstan Blog - new to me!

I have really been neglecting my obsessive compulsive internet checking pasttime. I found a link to a new kyrgyzstan adoption blog on Hearts wide open today. It is a family who was recently at the Tokmok orphanage for their first trip. They have a compelling story for sure! I added it to my favorite links.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

back at last



I am back to a computer....188 messages later I am up for air. My last big purchase (or any purchase) for 3 years - except of course all of the travel etc for my littlest pumpkin. While we were in Alabama, my daughter started trying to get toys by saying they were for her sister. "but mom, it is for my sister..it is a present and she said I could play with it until she got here". That one knows how to work a room! This is the picture of my new washing machine with the matching dryer of course! I tried to buy the cheapest washer and dryer....but this one matches my other appliances and it is soooo cool. I am saving the environment too! I wonder where my daughter gets that excuse and manipulating to shop gene?? It couldn't possibly be me! We left Alabama at 6 am (home at 430 am) and I am on call tonight at the beautiful VA medical center - I am hoping for a long luxurious nap tomorrow. I missed a lively discussion on the yahoo forum about RAD - I am looking forward to some down time tonight to read through those posts. I talked to my adoption coordinator over the weekend - she called me and whenever I see her name pop up on caller id - I go through a tremendous range of emotions....could this be a referral...could it be Kyrgyzstan closing to adoptions? It is a weird feeling to have both sick to stomach fear and butterflies of hope and excitement at the same time!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Surgery Resident

It seems to me that I haven't really talked that much about my job - which is amazing because I spend so much of my time at work. I am really glad that I am doing a year of surgery. I am especially glad that it is at a trauma center. Although you work super hard on the truama service, it is really interesting. I do not have the heart of a surgeon, I am kind of a shy stand in the corner type gal in a code, but on the trauma service I am assigned a job and jump in and do it. When I am on a surgical service I usually arrive at the hospital to see my patients around 430. I always feel a little bad waking them up from what is assuredly a restless night's sleep, but I have to get my notes done! On trauma we had sit down rounds with our cheif as the night cheif signed out to the day cheif...then we would either have sit down rounds or walk with our attneding depending on the attending. Each attending has his/her own idiosyncracies and just figuring out what those are can be exhausting!
I would like to add that it is nothing like Grey's Anatomy. First of all, there is no seeing the sun - I arrive before it comes up and occasionally I see it when I leave (if I am post-call). As far as I can tell there is no hanky-panky going on in our call rooms and I would definitely hear it! There is tube system in our hospital that I swear runs in the walls of all of our little bedrooms! Of course, I am a little older that most of the other resident and have other priorities. Maybe if I went out and drank and acted like a 26 year old I would know about the hanky panky that goes on around the hospital.
I was very nervous about doing a year of surgery - but I have been pleasantly surprised. Strangely, I highly recommend it - especially at U of Arizona.

Internet Withdrawal

I am going to be without internet access for almost an entire 7 days.....I might start shaking violently. I don't know how I am going to obsessively compulsively check my email. I might have to turn over my passwords to a friend! Tomorrow we fly to Louisiana to haul all of the stuff we have in storage to the new house in Alabama. I am very excited - although I would be more excited if I could stay there! I thought I was going to have a computer there, but alas, my exhusband has decided to keep the computer and I have not yet purchased a new one. I had to set up my phone line and DSL for my alarm system - so I thought I was going to avoid an internet free interval. Oh well - it will be good for me!
I am still in waiting mode - my dossier is still at the Embassy and my coordinator is getting sick of my weekly "anything new" emails. She is very nice and responds to all of them! I am going to go for at least 2 weeks without sending one...it should be easy since I am not going to have internet access!
I talked to the adoption clinic in Birmingham and am all set - all I need is a referral! I am officially number 2 on the list.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

The flood gates have opened!


My horoscope today might have said "hide your credit card". I went to the mall today with my daughter and did very good - I didn't buy a thing. Then we came home and she laid down for her nap and the buying frenzy began. First I started by just looking at babies r us - I thought I would start a little registry - I don't know her age, but I thought there were probably a couple of things I could put in there....just to get a little taste of shopping without actually buying anything. It was a slippery slope I tell you...and I slid right in....now one teething photo album, one pink sherpa boots and hat, one hotsling, and one twinklebaby bonding doll later....I think I have myself under control. Oh the shopping horror! I wanted to post a picture of the cute little sherpa boots and hat set, but I couldn't steal their picure so I posted a shirt I found from www.emotionalarmor.com instead. One for my daughter and a chocolate long sleeve one for me. I also bought a gift off of a registry for a woman I know who is adopting with Adoption Alliance and got her referral last week - that is so awesome! I need to just cool off ...there is steam rising from my credit card right now!

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Bad news!


OK - I will not look as cool and rock and roll dragging a baby across 13 time zones, but I really like this sling. www.attachedtobaby.com has a million slings to choose from. I took time to look at slings a while back....but since I didn't know and still don't know the age of my referral I was able to say no to the pull of internet shopping. Today I found out this stretchy, cute little sling can be used for toddlers up to 35 pounds....I am thinking there is no way an institutionalized 3 year old is going to weigh more than 35 pounds. Somehow I am finding the strength to resist though for how long I don't know! The bad news is I am not sure how much longer I can hold out!
Yes, Kyrgyzstan is 13 hours ahead of me, the nearest I can tell - so now I can somehow figure that into my obsessive email and phone mail checking schedule.

Friday, February 2, 2007

tic, toc, tic, toc

Ahhhh the international sound of interminable waiting! I don't even have an excuse to be so impatient - my dossier is still sitting in the Kyrgyzstan Embassy. I shouldn't be like this until the dossier gets to Kyrgyzstan at the very soonest! I suppose since I am awake sometimes 24 hours of a day - one week to me is like 2 weeks to a person with a normal life! However, I am usually very, very busy at work (or I would be sleeping!) and that might take some of the waiting edge off.
I am working at the VA right now which has it's pros and cons for sure. My rotation right now is not surgical, so I don't have any patients to round on in the morning so I am strictly 7am arrival (versus 430am) and I usually leave in the morning around 10am. To go from a 12-14 hour day to a 3 hour day RULES! I am taking call over here for the surgical services every 4th night or so and that can be torturous. On surgery call over here - you are all by yourself - so it is very lonely and there is no cafeteria after 500 - ish so I am hungry too. Maybe this month will make up for the 5 lbs I gained last month. I like to tell myself it is because I am in my adoption second trimester!
My house closing went smoothly, all of my utilities are on and waiting for me. If only I could get there quicker!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power