Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Who's worn out?

I am literally spending 4 hours a day in a stupid car driving to the hospital to see ben and I am worn out! We were hoping he would be coming home this weekend, but he is still not self-regulating his temperature and is in the baby condo and not a little crib. So .... we just keep on waiting. Our health insurance is 90/10 without a we pay 10% or everything and each day in the NICU is $7500 not including any therapy, tests or special charges. So our cheap baby is quickly becoming an expensive baby and it just adds a whole new level of frustration to the mix! I have plans for our savings and this wasn't it! But you gotta go with the flow right?! I will just wear myself if I get angry about it. I think it is AA that has the mantra about changing the things you can change and letting go of the things you can't change and being wise enough to know the difference between the two.

Yesterday was when we found out about the ever growing bill - which upset me because we had just rented my house and really started to save money for our next adoption, we just got our huge tax credit refund back and things were looking really good and bam...everything will be gone what do all couples do when there is financial problems....a parking lot disagreement...that's right! So then I went to see Ben and was already upset so he immediately spit up all over me and that was it - After 10 days I finally lost it. I sat in the NICU and cried for an hour holding my 4lb 4oz spit up covered baby. It was very pathetic. In my defense, however, I was really, really tired. Ben eats at like 930pm so we don't get home until about 11pm and then there is always stuff that has to be done around the house so I get to bed at 1am and then I'm up at 730 to take Zeb to school or the nanny's and just go all day.

So I am worn out, frustrated and poor! Oh the fun...but I am already back in my prepregnancy clothes....that is something!


The Stevens said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Stevens said...


It will all work itself out! I truly admired all that you do.... You are the real superwoman (3 kids all under the age of 5 and a full-time anesthesia resident)...YOU MADE MY HERO LIST!!!

Hey the lemonade in all of this is, at least you got back your pre-pregnancy look!!! NOW THATS AMAZING!!!!!!!



Suzanne said...

Oh Michelle, things do sound sucky. I'm sorry. And you don't have to apologize for venting about. If you were to keep it in, it would just poison you.

Here's a positive way to look at the financial bit: imagine how you would feel if you found out about the nicu costs, but hadn't rented your house or received your kick-ass tax refund. Yikes. You'd be so in the hole. But by the grace of whom- or whatever, you now have the means to pay those nicu bills. Whew!

Big, strong hugs-

Suzanne said...

But you know, you'd think the hospital would give you an employee discount!!!!

Anonymous said...

Just checking in here - wow - CONGRATULATIONS! You all look GREAT! I hope the stress passes soon. I don't know how you do it all. Take care. Kara

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power