Friday, December 5, 2008

OB call

I have got to post some pictures of Zeb's birthday party...he full on put his head in his bowl of cake...I guess all 2 year olds do it...it is definitely an obligatory toddler birthday shot! I am at work with no photos to post..so I will muse on another thing I have been pondering lately.

Although we are not yet paper ready ... not even done with the insanity that is our homestudy...I have been very dismayed at the progress or lack thereof of other families adopting from Kyrgyzstan. Basically, there has been none. These things happen and I am not complaining about it....what I am going to complain about is my lack of foresight when we told the children about Aaron. They have all seen his picture and we have talked about him a lot. When we first got his referral, we weren't going to tell the kids until after our court date...I wish in retrospect we had stuck to that. We could have told the kids about adopting again and even about his age...but we should not have put a face and name to their new brother. Let's face it, in international adoption things happen. Things happened last time and they could very well happen this time.

If Aaron does not come home...if Kyrgyzstan doesn't reopen...if we lose his referral to another family who can travel sooner...whatever...I will be able to take it in stride because I understand that those things happen. I will think about him sometimes as I do my last lost referral and wonder about him and hope he is happy and healthy, but I will not be distraught and angry. I worry a little bit that it will be hard to explain those things to the kids though. I am just a little angry with myself that my excitement and desire to share details with my kids overran my better judgement to keep it more amorphous when discussing it with the kids.

We recently got family photos which are tremendously cute and O is so excited to pick out pictures to send to Aaron. I am glad he is excited...but I feel really guilty that he might not understand if anything goes wrong. It can be hard for adults to accept that kind of bad news, I am afraid it will be even harder to explain it to the kids if we have to.

All of this pondering aside, I am still feeling very positive that Aaron will come home, that adoptions will shortly resume in 2009 sometime. I am feeling the beginning of March for us...hopefully sooner for those waiting families with locked up dossiers!

2 comments:

Tapsalteerie said...

I only vaguely mentioned the Ethiopian girls to the kids and I'm very glad I kept things vague as that adoption didn't happen... I have had a hard enough time dealing with the particulars of that... adding the kids' confusion on top of it would've been very difficult for me.

I think you have an excellent outlook... you're accepting of the process and the risks and I'm sure if something did happen your logic and reason would be imparted to your children.

I hope that KG reopens soon for all the families in process.

Mala said...

Hang in there!!!!

(oh, and you've been tagged)

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power