Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Another example of my craziness....

So, as of late I have become very set in my opinion that our next adoption will be of an HIV+ child. Obviously, we are 100% committed to bringing Aaron home....however long that takes, but ever since I have become aware of the big picture of pediatric HIV and what it means to be a little baby in a resource poor country with HIV....I just can't get my mind or heart around the sheer ugliness of ignoring this issue.

I ignored it for years...in blissfull ingnorance.

It is soooooo incredibly doable to raise and love an HIV+ kid. The hardest part ....by all reports of parents of HIV+ kids....is the stigma and the ignorance of people. There are all sorts of things that adoptive parents worry about....attachment, FAS, transracial issues...these are real issues. Giving a child medicine twice a day...that is not something to stress out about. Kids will get picked on as they grow up...especially girls and especially in middle school and high school. Having HIV certainly gives other kids something to pick on you for....but the alternative for a little HIV+ orphan in Ethiopia or Thailand or wherever is to spend her childhood in an orphanage maybe or maybe not getting ARV's and maybe or maybe not living into her teen years. I think when we (as prospective adoptive parents) worry about every little thing we are forgetting the big picture just a little bit.

So I am 100% committed that the next child we bring into our family will be HIV+ and I have seen a little girl in Thailand I would love to bring into our family. She has an infectious little smile and I can tell would be quite a handfull (as all girls are!). That being said....we are waiting for Aaron and we have much uncertainty in our lives right now. Adoption Alliance would let us do a concurrent adoption...but our homestudy agency could not be a bigger bunch of money-grubbing obstructionists. Seriously, they charged us a $75 "document processing fee" to make a photocopy of one piece of paper they didn't have to do anything with. The social worker dropped it off at their office with the homestudy instead of mailing it to us...so they charged us $75 to make a copy of it for their file...seriously. They didn't have to even notarize it, sign it or anything! I loved my homestudy agency in Arizona...and here I have nothing but resentment and fear that they might somehow un-approve us. You shouldn't live in fear of your homestudy agency....and I am not really the paranoid type. I am digressing.....

The only way we could really bring her home is if Aaron comes home faster that we are expecting ( a miracle really), so we could bring him home and start a new Hague homestudy and I get a job quickly in Alabama (another miracle). I get a job quick in Alabama with a good signing bonus (also a miracle) so we could start a Hague homestudy for a concurrent adoption. Of course, she may still be in the orphanage in Thailand in a couple of years when Aaron finally makes it home....how sad - really. I suppose there are always options and alternatives that present themselves when you least expect them...

So now y'all know why there are so many new links on my sidebar about HIV+ adoptions and Thailand....because I desperately want to bring this little girl into our family. If anyone reading this is interested in HIV+ adoptions from Thailand...I very highly recommend checking out Adoption Advocates International and their Thailand program....it is sooooooooo affordable and by all I have talked to - very ethical.

If I didn't do things like this and feel passionately about these types of things...I wouldn't be me.

1 comment:

The Stevens said...

Had you on my mind today as I was working with children today with HIV, wow, what a tug on the heart? You go girl!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power