Thursday, June 18, 2009

Why am I nutty about adoption?

I was talking to someone at work who is not an adoptive parent....someone who is not even a parent at all. I was telling them about how disappointed I was in the whole Kyrgyzstan mess and that I was hoping to adopt from somewhere else in the near future....yadda yadda yadda yadda...just kind of shooting the breeze.

Then came the question that other people probably wonder but don't ask....if my goal is to have a big family...why don't we just have more biologic children?

There is a lot of rhetoric and political correctness in the adoption world....if someone says "how lucky your child is that you rescued them from an orphanage"...or the is "oh family is blessed to have found them"...or something of that sort.

I do feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have all of my children - they are all super awesome....but you know what. If I hadn't adopted Zeb...he may be sitting hungry in a cold orphanage wearing a pink winnie the pooh dress with leggings. Read some of the blogs under the HIV + heading over on the side...if those parents hadn't taken a leap of love and faith...their children may well be dead. Yes, it is OK to say it....our children our lucky they have loving, homes. Our biologic children are lucky to have loving homes and enough food. I am lucky that I have a warm home and enough money to feed my family. We are all very lucky.

You can see the advice everywhere in the adoption community...don't adopt if you are doing it to "save" a child. Are you kidding?! is OK to grow you family with the added benefit of saving a child who might otherwise grow up with no family or might otherwise NOT grow up at all. Our adoptive children and our biologic children are not beholden to us for raising is our good fortune to be their parents....

Let's not beat around the bush.....we want to have 6 or 7 kids...for each biologic child we decide to have...that is one more orphan who won't find a home. I am trying to make a difference in the world and you CAN change the world one child at a time. If 7% of the world's christians committed to adopting an orphan...there would be no more orphans in the world.

If you have a heart for raising children it is OK to change the world through "saving" an orphan. In fact, I don't know of a better plan for changing the world. Think about what a better place the world would be if all of the kids without families suddenly had one.

I don't know if any of you have seen the Madonna documentary about orphans in Malawi...but there is one part where a child, who is orphaned by AIDS, is asked what he thinks the rest of the world could do to help his country. He says "If you want to do something to help us children in something to make us forget we are orphans". He could have something so we are not hungry, do something so we can go to school, do something so we are not cold...instead he asked for someone to help him forget he is an orphan.

I am nutty about adoption because it is an easy, and very selfish way for me to change the world as a whole....and the whole world for one child.


Hilary Marquis said...

Thank you for saying it!

Mala said...


The Stevens said...

Can I copy and paste this to OCH Blog and of course give you credit, what a great powerful post!

Michelle said...

I am honored...Leigh! Of course you can. I am so impressed with how you have created OCH.

The Stevens said...

Thanks Michelle for supporting OCH as well! I just think your words here are so power and painfully true.

Brand New Mama said...

Well said Michelle. My personal favorite was when people would ask why we just didn't adopt from the US. My own Grandma asked me this! does it really matter? An orphan's an orphan!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power