Monday, December 28, 2009

virtual community..

I know...I have like a million pictures I need to post...i really do. PIctures of Lilianna in her special Christmas Program outfit (she was one of 6 children that sang with our adult praise band for the Christmas program), the kids playing in our massive 1 inch snow storm, our Christmas lay out and kids on xmas day....but until I figure out what cord hooks Keith's camera up to the computer...we are all out of luck!

Today I am wallowing in a small puddle of self pity. I think it is because I am really tired...really, really tired. Not like I need a nap tired, but I need a vacation tired. I have worked a lot this month to try to earn a little extra money...for Christmas and for the first half of our fees for the girls....we had most of the money saved in our dependent care account just waiting for us to get our refund...but some of it I had to work for. When we first started this process, I fully intended for us to adopt a single, HIV+ everyone knows...that is not how it has turned the dependent care refund was not going to cover the whole thing. Then about $1K in overtime didn't turn up on my most recent it will come on my next check. So now I am tired and I am wallowing! If you are going to might as well do it online right! haha.

When I was adopting Zeb, I had a couple of good online friends who were going through the process too and spent a lot of time emailing them. I don't really have that with Beacon House. The forum is really quiet and I would feel silly if I started just posting random stuff to it...asking questions about who has been recently who has seen my girls, does anyone know what B's favorite color is? Has she lost any teeth? Does V like to play with dolls? What does B's bedroom look like? Where has everyone stayed, what airline did they use..heck...what kind of clothes did they pack when they went and of course...what kind of shopping has been done! I am so excited about the shopping. I know there are people on the Beacon House yahoo forum who know all of these things...but for some reason...I don't feel like I can ask these questions and be just sociable and frivolous. I feel way more isolated in this adoption than I did from Kyrgyzstan.

Maybe I will just post a frivolous message to the Beacon House forum and see if anyone responds...I barely know anyone going through the process and when my girls come home, I really want to network and connect with other families and the other kids that my kids lived with, played with, prayed with and loved. So I have just convinced myself to make more of an effort to get to know the families in process with Beacon House. I will try not to be as self-pitying one likes a whiner!


Tapsalteerie said...

I'm sorry you're feeling blue. I think the support we all had with the KG adoptions was just amazing (and the fact that so many of us are still around supporting each other now).

Maybe a quickie comment on the BH forum would hook you up with some "in the knows" and that would help... but in the interim maybe a nice nap would do some good... I slept in until 9:30 this morning and I feel like such a slacker... but well rested ;)

Michelle said...

THe KG adoption peeps rock...that is for sure! I finally got some sleep last night and I am back to my bubbly, optimistic self today. Sleep is so nice. I have gotten a nice response on the beacon house forum after basically begging people to be my friend! I have no pride - I am ok with that!

Marnie and Jeremy said...

I can't believe you won't just put yourself out there. Go for it! If they don't like it and don't respond, be done with them. I am sure you can find support elsewhere. I think they just need a kick start and you might just be the right person to give it to them.

Michelle said...

You were right Marnie...I just threw myself out there and got lots of responses. Taking risks...I have to do that more!

bbqdaisy said...

SORRY Michelle and I'm going to take the liberty of apologizing for all of us =) I think most of us with BH are so busy ADJUSTING with our new kiddos that we don't make it on the group much! I think it has been months since I was on there - I hadn't seen any of your posts = 0 I will try to be more dilligent ... although PLEASE feel free to e-mail me directly with ANY questions ... I think most of us use e-mail or the phone versus the group these days ...
BLESSINGS, BLESSINGS on your journey! I can't wait to follow and see what GOD DOES in terms of bringing your girls HOME!!! AND I can't wait for pictures ... I do love pictures!!!!
I'm glad I went on the yahoo group yesturday!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power