Sunday, February 28, 2010

Forms....forms and more forms..

Early tomorrow morning (which is really this morning)...I will be mailing off our I600. We had hoped to file it in Ghana when we were there - but that was not meant to be. So we waited for a couple of weeks to get our decree and we are sending it in tomorrow.

I am hoping it won't take too long to get it processed. I figure there is no real rush for us at this point since we are still waiting for passports. If we don't have our I600 approval by the time we get the passports...then I will start stressing out. That could literally take months...so I am just chilling. Our fingerprints expire in May, so I figure we will send in for our appointment sometime next month and start facing the possibility of renewing our I600A. UGG!

However, for now I am optimistic and I am very excited to be sending paperwork off to a new stage of waiting!

I wonder if I have mentioned the joy I feel every moment I spend in the ICU?

This month we have a perponderance of really old and sick patients with very little hope for a meaningfull recovery...it is a testament to how brief life is and what a small amount of time I have here to make a difference.

Things go by so fast, in like 5 minutes...years will have gone by and I won't have done all of the things I have planned. I have got lots of plans and I constantly have to remind myself of them before they slip away under piles of the things I have to do on a daily basis....laundry, work, cleaning, paperwork, etc....etc.....

In August 1998, I picked out a little puppy...a super cute little weimaraner from a a litter of puppies born in July. She was the best dog I had ever had. She was always happy. She slept in bed with me, I walked her almost every day. I used to take her to the dog park along the Mississippi river in new orleans. She loved to jump in that nasty water and swim around. Then I would walk her home and give her a bath with my pantene shampoo. She was really smart too. She used to play with this big KONG dog toy and I could say "daisy, where's your bone?" and she would look around and run all over the house trying to find it. She would bring it back with her happy, anticipatory waggy tail. I swear she could smile. We lived in apartments and I kept promising Daisy that I would get her a back yard someday to just run around at full speed.

When Lilianna's father and I divorced he took Daisy. I was very busy with medical school and, of course with Lilianna. I never gave Diasy a back yard. Last week, Daisy died. Lilianna's father had her put to sleep...it was time...I knew she was sick. He told me her tail wagged and her little face had her puppy smile on it all the way until the very end.

There are many things I have promised myself that I would do for others...for Daisy, for a little girl in an orphanage in Ust-kamenogorsk, Kazakhstan, for a little boy in Belovodsk, Kyrgyzstan. There are many things I have had good intentions to do and not done. For each of those things I have failed to follow through on...I am sad. But instead of dwelling on the ways I have disappointed, I can remind myself that those moments slip away. Your chance to give to others slips away.

So, I look at some of my really old and sick patients and wonder as they lay there are they thinking about the moments they let slip away? When I am them how many more things will I regret not doing? My goal is to live my life so that I don't have to add any more regrets of moments and opportunities missed to my list.

thank you daisy for all of the sweet memories and for reminding me to keep the main thing the main thing.

1 comment:

Paige said...

I cried reading your post because I too had to put my 12 y.o. Weimaraner, Mariah, to sleep a few months ago; and then my other 3 dogs, including a Pointer puppy we got a month ago, all woke up and started jumping on me because I was crying. I love this post because it is such a great reminder not to forget about our hopes, dreams and plans and the promises we make to ourselves and others, including our trusty furry companions. My condolences for the loss of your beloved Daisy. Maybe she's met Mariah and they're playing and no longer in pain.

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power