Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The end of my rope....

I my have actually reached the point where my head is going to explode. Our daughters became our daughters over 6 months ago and we patiently waited through the 3 weeks of waiting for our adoption decree, the 2 weeks for I600 approval, the 4 weeks it too for our I600 approval to make it to Ghana...the 2 weeks it took for the Embassy to acknowledge that they received it..the 3 weeks to gather all of the I604 investigation. May 24th......how long could it take for someone to see look at the documentation...the situation leading to their eligibility for adoption is extremely clean. In fact, you can't get any cleaner.

I don't know am not entirely sure why this is happening to our family and usually I just trust that things will happen in His time and that things will work out when they are supposed to.

Today - I am angry....very angry and I feel SO HOPELESS. I spent time today trying to figure out how we can buy a house in Ghana and spend half our time there and half our time here. It is ridiculous...of course we can't. I came across a blog once of a family who completed an adoption from somewhere in Africa...I forget which country and then they couldn't get an immigration visa for their child....so they literally moved there. Of course, we can't do that at least not in the near future.

In the past whenever I came to fork in the road....such as wait patiently for visa's vs plant one of us in Accra from September 15 until visa's come.....I could listen to my heart/holy spirit and had faith that the path I was choosing was the right one. Even though I have made some seemingly insane choices - when I was making them I knew 100% that I was making the right choices. So all day today I was sitting alone....flying solo while I pondered the choices before us. Neither of these choices is screaming..."jump" so either both of these choices are wrong or I have had my little inner cheat sheet pulled for THIS test.

I know I am blessed, and I know that this trial will result in helping us grow in some way and could send us in a direction that we may not have even considered before....obviously something I still haven't considered. There is always pain in change and while we have had lots of change so far this year...there may be more ahead of us that we can't even imagine...and it will be a blessing.

Today has just been one of those days where I don't have any idea at all what we are supposed to do and I feel helpless and hopeless.

So I am praying tonight for a day tomorrow that has renewed hope...some new ideas...and maybe some visa's....think big right!?


Shannon said...

UGH! Damn Government! I will start sending out double good juju.........

100 PT Tests said...

I saw a quote about the universe the other day (something about it being in control and things always working out exactly as they should), and I had this big plan of making a card with the quote on it and sending it to you and it would uplift you and be awesome. Of course, I got distracted by something else or fell asleep or had to deal with a patient problem and didn't do it. At least I had the thought, right?
Remember, things always work out the way they should in the time they should (and think about how many examples there are of exactly this in your own life). I hope you're not still feeling like you're at the end of your rope!
(this is ryan, by the way)

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power