Sunday, November 7, 2010

Issues creeping up...

This morning we made it to church...yeah! Our church just moved to a new building so it was a pretty exciting morning there. Did I mention that we have French Vanilla creamers at the little coffee bar...yummm.
We got up around 8ish (after a 45 minute prelude to up-ness by Benjamin at 322am) and had bacon and eggs for breakfast courtesy of rocking the hot breakfast. Then we ran around crazy and tried to get ready. While Keith was in the shower, my job was to get all clothes out and ready and start dressing the girls. For some reason the girls took a really...really long time so the boys were not directly supervised...I heard them running around and playing. When I was finally done with the girls I headed out of their room to a naked 2 year old boy and Keith picking poop up off the hallway floor....oops. Mom gets a fail for getting the kids dressed this morning.

Benjamin had taken off his diaper then pooped, then walked through it onto his and Zeb's bed and then sat on the bedspread and tried to wipe the poop off his feet with his hands...want anymore details - yeah me either. It is a good thing Keith found it. If I had walked out of the bedroom and found that I would have totally lost it. I think my head could very well have exploded. We have had problems with Ben taking off his diaper and running around talking about using the potty chair...getting on and off the potty chair a million times and not using it. We have been a little permissive of it because we want him to start using the potty chair. However...the hammer has now come down about walking around without a diaper on!

Somehow though, we cleaned everything and everyone up and still left the house on time. As we walked out the door keith made the comment that we were getting the hand of advanced parenting...HAHAHAHA.....however, we did make it to church on time!

In other news, Alex has been very quiet and it has been hard to get her to speak loud enough to really hear her. Today we discovered that she can talk loudly, forcefully, and look you in the eye...but only when she is lying to you. At least we have clues as to when she is lying. She also likes barbie and doll clothes. She likes to take them forcefully, horde and hide them and doesn't give a second thought to hurting anyone's feelings in the process. Oh the opportunities we have to help Alex grow. She is full of energy and I know her soul is sweet - she is going through so much right now and I think she sees our house as a new place to survive in. A new place to try to learn how to beat the system, get what she needs, get what she wants and try to be in charge. I know she doesn't get the family thing yet.

As far as parenting goes, we are kind of strict. I am not sure how this is going to play out - we are prayerful for sure.

Zoe is doing better - she is starting to act like a 2 year old - being playful and getting into trouble - haha. Today she actually got up from lunch and instead of being glued to me - followed the other kids into the playroom for about 45 seconds. Then came running back. Her temper tantrums are still manageable and redirectable (we are on day 2 of successfull redirection - hurray). Her love tank is still close to E though....we are praying for that love tank to fill. She is saying a lot more words and is saying "thank you" when we give her anything...which is big in our house!

Lilianna is as sweet as ever and full of love for her sisters. I think her feelings were very hurt by Alex today and she is just baffled why her sister wouldn't want to play and share and why she would hit her hands away from her own doll clothes pile. Lilianna gets special mommy time today and tomorrow for that one.

Zeb is acting out a little bit at home and being an annoying little brother where he used to be Lilianna's number one playmate. I foresee that Lilianna will start spending more time playing with Zeb again - so I think that Zeb's acting out is going to decline. He is still sweet little zebby zeb with an annoying little brother twist!

Benjamin is doing better too - Keith and I spent extra Ben and Zeb time on Saturday thanks to the help of my awesome mom and Ben really responded to that. I am also a lot more thoughtfull about carrying 2 2year olds instead of just one. Ben and Zoe are actually getting alot pretty good. Even though Zoe is a month older than Ben she is functionally younger than him. They run around and play peekaboo and tickle each other and do that great thing where they just chase after each other and scream.

Mom is going back to work tomorrow...weird and sad. I am exhausted and feel like somethings are getting better, some things are getting worse. I am questioning every parenting decision I make and worry about all kinds of things ( I think that is what mom's do - right?)

Keith has it all under control. That is just the way he is built I suppose.

I read a blog once that was brutally honest about all of the issues her daughter was having. She said she wished she was one of those adoptive parents who had a wonderful easy time of it and was ready to start another adoption. Instead, she said the adoption of her daughter had disrupted their family is so many inexplicable ways that she was just heartbroken. Zeb's adoption was sooo easy and he attached and integrated into our family so well that there is no comparison to his adoption and the adoption of his sisters. They will be work and it will be work for everyone in the family. Even though I knew in my heart that it would be hard work and it would be advanced parenting - I don't think I fully appreciated the kind of work until today.

Bootsy, Smokey, Jeb, Tiger, and Pumpkin...ok they are fine and they have a new cathouse that Keith built for them last night to keep them toasty warm I totally have to take a picture because it is totally amazing and really toasty warm inside. They have definitely adjusted to the girls..haha.


Cindy LaJoy said...

You have a LOT on your hands Michelle, and it will take months...if not years...for things to feel "normal". Pat yourself on the back for merely surviving right now!! Alex has so much to sort through, as do ALL the kids, and it won't be able to be rushed.

It usually won't get worse than this, you are going through the most uncomfortable stages right now. Hang in there, reach out for help when you need it, and know there are many of us who understand how hard this is and are praying for your entire family!

Michelle said...

Thanks Cindy - for the words of encouragement and for the prayers. When people ask if there is anything they can do to this point prayers are the most important!

I know things are moving in the right direction and identification of issues and dealing with them is a really important first step.

It is so hard to be back at work! i want to be home working with the kids...UG!

RylansMom said...

It sounds like you are all doing great with your new situation!! It will take awhile and I think you are handling things good. I don't think I could even know how to handle it. I can't even make it to church with 2 kiddos! Try putting Ben's diaper on backwards...

Michelle said...

Thanks! Ben has pull ups and is just determined to be in charge and if that diaper is coming off in his is coming off! I have read that some parent actually potty train by letting their kids run around without diapers on and the mess they make helps them to decide to use the potty chair. UM....after Sunday...gross...we will not be doing that again. I think some super model talked about potty training her kids that way while she was on some photo shoot in a glamorous tropical island! While I do compare many aspects of my life to a super model...that will not be one of them!

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