Monday, March 12, 2012

intuition is God whispering..

I saw that on one of the blogs I follow.  It struck a nerve with a good way.  It pertains specifically to what my family is going through right now.  For the last 2 years, we have been very half-in on bringing home Aaron.  We have been pushing forward, getting paperwok done, sending money to agencies, completing homestudies, hiring lawyers. 
My philosophy has always been keep your feet moving and eventually you will get where you are supposed to be.  I have this image of me running as fast as I can and a great big hand reaching into my maze and lifting me up and moving me to another little path.  There may be a wall in front of me right now...but maybe that had will move me where I  need to go.  So Keith and I have just kept moving our little feet.
Everything has been relatively easy with this adoption...except, of course, the 4 year moratorium haha.  In the last couple of weeks, we have put together a dossier, found extra income to pay for it and things have been coming together pretty good.
Even though things have been moving pretty well, we have stayed luke-warm about the whole thing.  We have been in and out so many times in the last month of so it is pretty ridiculous. 
Some of the other families are up against so much more than we are in this process and they are committed, convicted and will find a way to bring home their referred children.  We have come up against a wall I don't think we can overcome or circumvent on our own...Travel.

We can't leave our kids here for 3 weeks.  That is too long for any one person to take care of our kids (that is not one of us).  Our new agency won't let us split up travel between us.  I know if we wanted it bad enough we could probably find something..we have been looking for a nanny or babysitter for while we are gone - but haven't found anyone. 

Our paperwork is good until November, so we will keep trying to find options and be waiting for an answer.  My intuition is telling me our paperwork will quietly expire in November and while I am sad, I can honestly say we did try as hard as we could within the constraints of what is fair to the family I already have at home.  If it does expire, I will be at peace with it.

If something materializes that will allow us to travel I will be thrilled and we will jump back in full steam.  I was really looking forward to 3 June birthdays and pine wood derby next year.  I'm still making Keith build the triple bunkbed!


sandrinha said...

I remember reading that you are part of a church? Do you think your church family would be willing to help babysit your kids, people taking different shifts? Maybe you can talk to your pastor or other leaders and see if some sort of announcement can be made.

I understand your dilemma with all your kids and hope and pray that it works out for you and for little Aaron. Blessings on your family. I'm a fan of your blog.

Leigh said...

Michelle Have you considered Au Pair? We are getting one from China in June! 45 hours of childcare a week!!!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power