Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Big family

Someone who has only one child asked me an interesting question today.  She and her husband are talking about trying to have a second child.  She asked me...."how is it when you have more than one kid...do you love them the same or differently? What does it feel like to have more than one child?"

That seems like a crazy question when you don't remember what it was like to have just one kid!  The image that came to my mind was the part in the Grinch...when his heart grows however many sizes it grows....I forget.  That is what happens with each addition to my family...my heart grows 10 sizes per kid!  It is exponential.  I loved Lily....man did I love that little pumpkin.  When we brought home Zeb, I loved him and I loved Lily even more than I did before.  There is no zero sum about it...it just keeps growing and it isn't only the love for your kids...it is the love for the world around you too...the world has more color and more joy in it ...everything is better with more kids! 

Sometimes I get bogged down in some pretty unimportant stuff....paying bills, keeping the house clean, getting everyone fed, bathed, and dressed..haha...unimportant stuff.  I forget how my life is soooo darn blessed.  I am living an 8 dimensional life full of so much joy and love and I owe that all to my family...my awesome (ly exhausting!) kids and my totally amazing husband.

I totally remember sitting in the office at the family practice clinic I was rotating through the day my match list was due to NRMP deciding where I was going to spend the next 4 years of my life.  I manipulated that list 100 times if I did it once.  I remember sitting there about to hit the send/finalize button.  At the last minute, I changed my number one pick to UAB and I know that that decision was going to change my life.  I said to myself and I vividly remember saying this out loud...This is going to change my life.  I took a deep breath and jumped in.  That decision is why I have all that I have now...why I have my family.

I digress, the point of this post is that my life is better with more kids.  I am so lucky I figured that out!

I wonder if it isn't just kids that increases your capacity to love. I read the stories of missionaries and blogs of people like Katie Davis and marvel at the amazing lives they lead and the amazing things they do and the amazing amount of love they have for the people around them.  The Bible is such a great handbook for life and Christ gave us such a great living role model for us to pattern our decisions after.  He loved.  Maybe the more people you love the more you are truly living and the better life is.  So what does it feel like to have and love more than one child...it feels good.  The question I have is what does it feel like to Love like Christ did...I bet God just opens up your heart and pours joy into it.  I hope I get to figure that one out in a much more real way someday!

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