Friday, December 27, 2013

Special Needs

That phrase "special needs" is kind of a weird phrase. It is especially interesting when you are parents entering into the world of international adoptions....what special needs are you open to, what does it really mean? When Keith and I were starting the process to adopt from Ghana - I really wanted us to be open to a larger list of special needs, but Keith cut that list down saying something to the effect of "if we had a child...or we brought home our child and then found out about this need wouldn't be a big deal we would just deal with it". About 3 months ago we were offered a referral of an 11month old who had a much less severe version of Ulysses' need and we turned him down. Not so much because of the need...although that was honestly part of it...but because we just didn't feel that something. At the time, I thought that was kind of a silly reason. I am not the fall in love at first sight kind of adoptive mama. I went with it though. Now 3 months later, because of something in a video that moved us...we are planning on bringing home a son that literally has two of the big issues we said we were not sure of being able to handle. Every time we tried to talk ourselves out of bringing him home because of worst case scenarios...those scenarios ceased to be scary or barriers at all. No matter how worst case they got. The reason is because he literally feels like our child and we are not scared by his needs we just need to get him home and deal with them. Maybe it is because I spent so much time thinking about it, praying about him and imagining every eventuality before I talked to Keith about him at all. I have always been a bit skeptical of the plethora of child advocacy sites designed to help waiting children find adoptive families. Not in a "I think they are bad" kind of way...but in a "does it really help kids find homes?" kind of way. Now I am just so grateful that the advocacy site we saw Ulysses on took the time and had the heart to advocate for him or we NEVER would have found him. This adoption process has been so different for me and my family in so many different ways and we aren't even done yet. This adoption has rocked my world and made my heart grown like 3 sizes. This is a blessing and I can't wait to get to the next step. Dossier is in Washington, DC right now with the Assistant Stork. Unfortunately, the stork gets vacations too so we won't have it back for another 2 weeks or so! Then as soon as we have our updated I800A approval off to our agency it goes. I think I am being conservative when I hope for a May travel date..we will see though!

1 comment:

Shannon said...

I sooo get it. Think back about 4 years to all my frantic phone calls...."I just 'feel' it Michelle." Hydrocephalus, seizures, CP, etc etc etc. All those things I never thought I'd encounter or be able to handle - here we are today. Not a 'love at first sight' Mama either, but I do get the 'meant to be' thing. I can't wait to see him home with you all!!

Karyn Purvis Insights and Gifts - sharing power